Let Me Introduce Myself

Dear Brians brother (or whoever you may be)

 A little birdie has told me that you don’t know who I am, so let me introduce myself to you, quite simply put my name is Arachnoiditis. ... I lurk in your brothers and other peoples spine and I’m a sticky gooey mess, I stick the walls of the dura, I’m inflammation but so much more than that. I hurt people, and make them squirm in their seats, I don’t allow them to walk far and I send shooting pains throughout their body, I give them burning stinging pain and shock like knife stabbing jolts, why not, I like to play. Oh and forget a good sleep, I'm there lying in their beds with them too. They all take medication but I catch up to them pretty quickly and stump the doctors into oblivion. I’m pretty sure they’d like to name me Hell at this point. You know, some of these people still even have jobs, I don’t know how on earth they do it with me in their spines because my goal is to stop them in their tracks. Problem is, they have will power to shut me out. I don’t have a clue how they do that – that’s not fair. I’ll tell you all about me as we go along and a few more people who are affected by me, ha! I’m not like the flue though, I NEVER go away, even though these people think they’re having a good day. It’s my goal to make each and every day as miserable as possible so here goes. Firstly I need to mention that I’m really selfish, so trying to forget about me for most of these people isn't going to happen!! So I make Dawn have bladder infections that put her in bed for days, I make sure she stings and burns, she even wets her pants which I jump up and down with glee for – my job is done. I'll tell you about my buddy who causes that in a little bit. I make Melanie's body stings so bad all she wants to do is run away or worst for me, - die!! , but I chase right after her, where is she running to, there's nowhere to go. Sharon gets twitches so bad she had to stop driving her car, so then she had to move because she's no longer self reliant, ha ha good, that means she can’t go places by herself now, besides she was never alone, I am there every day without fail causing fatigue so bad she can't even walk from the kitchen to the bathroom, I give a whole new meaning to exhaustion. I make Taras toes curl, I wish I could say it was from a pleasurable experience on her part, but I only create havoc so no game Joe. I cause spasticity so she can’t even wear shoes any more. She gave me a funny name though in her big toe and that upsets me. She calls her big toe her penis toe!! I make these people sweat, get cold and clammy with goose bumps, some of them have stinging legs, they buzz like a bee and fizz like a soda pop, I make some even have what feels like water trickling down their legs, that must be fun - NO, I know it's not because they complain about it a lot - good, that is another goal I have and it too, is done. I should have a checklist here because so many things are caused by me like severe headaches, dry and blurry eyes, tinnitus (must be fun), the frequency for some of these people sounds like the aliens are landing. I'm pretty sure Ruth says this often, and noises from across the room sound like they're in her ear, I know that's uncomfortable because she says so - so again, see, she's never alone, the noise is there lurking in her ears 24/7. I also have a buddy too, he's called cauda equina syndrome, the one that's playing heck with Dawn, well that's this guy - and he causes diarrhea and constipation, bladder retention and infections and usually drop foot too. Saddle pain is also his goal, but heck it's mine too, move over CES I want to cause that, just give me one more chance to rule !! So I hope you're getting to know me a bit by now? I could go on, really I could but before I do, I'll just say a few more choice words and then be done. So yeah, I forgot about those who can't swallow properly and have to eat a diet of liquid foods, it doesn't happen to everyone, but my goal is to get there as well. Why not, I'm allowed to roam free, oh yeah, I play heck with any part of the spine, I forgot this part, from neck to lumbar, I make hips hurt so bad, a vice would be easier for them to deal with. I pull on things these people didn't even know existed until I showed up. Oh the one thing I like to do is cause heck with hands, after all, who needs those? Oh I forgot to tell you how I got here. Well, there's a few ways - surgery was done on so many of these people, a multi billion dollar industry that is supposed to help people, well, it's a free for all for me, so why not. I didn't cost a thing, only to make matters worst, what were they thinking, I was going to make it all better? And then there are those who have epidural steroid injections, I wasn't even lurking in the needle, but you know, the off label depo medrol can melt a polystyrene cup in about 6 hours, so my job is to stick and glue together the spinal nerves for the rest of their lives - depo medrol is my friend. He does a pretty good job I think. Then there are moms to brand new babies, thinking they did it all the right way in getting an epidural to help the pain of labor. I guess by now they realize after all, labor pain is nothing to what I cause them daily, because I'm there for the rest of their life, of course, they can't even take care of baby like they wanted to because I'm lurking in their spines, and I won't let them forget. Some people have had meningitis, then I show up, some have even fallen, and then there are those who have lumbar punctures and need blood patches after. The blood introduced into the spine created me, and I certainly won't let them forget about me. The one thing that I'm upset about now as it was stopped were myelograms with the oil based dye, darn, I have to find more creative ways to find my way into peoples lives. So, now you know me a bit better, maybe you can't forget about me either. Forget spreading the word, I mean, I want to survive after all. So adios Ember Fin
 Written by Ember Fin - July 2013